Real Fight Stories

Fuck the haters, there are actually some good self-defense pointers in the hand-to-hand combat forum at fightauthority.com. Here is where some of the toughest guys on the net regale us with Real Fight Stories. The bone-breaking excitement is simply too intense for some readers. Be warned.

Below are three favorite excerpts from the forum, selections from posters: dan2kowalski, nbotary and ninja_claws. My commentary is in red.

Post: dan2kowalski:
Well iam 21 and havent been in a fight since i was about 17 because after taht i got into FC Amateur Kickboxing[this is how he marks time. BFCAK and AFCAK]. So i was 17 picking up one of my friends when this drunk kid who i kinda knew [read: this kid who was more popular than me] hit my window and started saying shit... i was gonna getting out of the car when, The guys whos house it was said to just leave and held the other kid back[read: the aggressor was a welcomed guest, dan2kowalski was treated like a punk] I was pissed because i worked my ass off for that car adn i aint gonna have some lil fuck screw with it. So a day or 2 later [a day or 2 of dan2kowalski thinking about what he should have done to the bully...] teh kid was like yo man sorry about that i was like fuck u i wanna fight u in school so i get a vacation and see u get your asskicked. (This is after like 2 years of just karate)He showed up at my work i told him i get out at 6 we went around back each with 1 friend [their chosen Seconds] he said he didnt wanna fight [the more popular kid was being magnanimous] so then i punched him in the mouth then he came towards me through a kick at his stomach, which brought his hands down leaving him unguarded then punched himin the mouth with a jab he started pleeding then he tried to get behind me so i put him in a headlock adn flipped him on the ground. I then let him get up and he ended up getting behin me against the car so i back fisted him then he put me in some wrestling move were i couldnt breathe and asked me to tap out so i did [but only since he asked politely] he won but his lip was all bleeding and shit then we hugged and that was it.> [read: dan2kowalski lost the fight, but he tells the story like he won]

Post: nbotary:
Well, there was this one time at band camp...

I've been fortunate in that I haven't had to actually use anything I've learned although this is the closest I've been to offering anyone some free dental work since learning martial arts...

I had just graduated college the day before and my girlfriend (now wife) and I took off back to her school for her graduation the next day. After she graduated, we went out and were at a party with a bunch of her friends and some people that I vaguely knew. My best friend at the time attended the same school she did and would've been at the same party, but he wasn't there that evening - otherwise this would be a hell of a lot more interesting!! [foreshadowing?] Anyway, I think I knew 2-3 people there - at best - and I really barely knew them to begin with. I had seen some punk ass earlier that night who had been checking out my girlfriend[and his girlfriend wasn't asking for it or anything]. Even though he was giving me shitty looks, I let it go. My girlfriend said that she wanted to say goodbye to a freind of hers and then she wanted to bail from the party. I told her I would wait in the front of the house and she went to talk with her friend. As she was coming back so we could leave, I heard her start yelling and cussing someone out. Needless to say, I hauled ass and bull dozed some people to get to her. When I got there, there was the little punk ass. I asked her what had happened and she said that he had grabbed her ass [there is more to this story-- perhaps Punk Ass fucked nbotary's girl in the past-- there is more to this story, mark my words]. That was it - it was go time. I got up in his face and asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing. All of a sudden it got REAL quiet and he looked like he was about to start some shit. I had already been in Jiu Jitsu for about 5 months and I took a quick assessment of my situation - I was pretty much alone. However, I had a great advantage - his back was against a wall, no shoes, no shirt, drunk as shit and not too cool. I had a bee-line shot for his throat had I chose to take it, as well as a nice set-up for a groin shot and a slam to the floor. I was about to flip out on this kid when she and her friend grabbed me and pulled me into a spare room, separating me from him [read: you should have seen all the brutal things nbotary almost did to defeat his opponent, but he didn't end up doing shit]. Her friend went back out and told the guy what he was up against [LOL!] . Needless to say, when we walked back outside, the little shit came up and apologized profusely to me. I told him to apologize to her first and then I would deal with him. After she ripped him a new asshole, I told him if I ever saw him again nobody would stop me from fucking him up.
I found out a couple of days later that the little punk ass had three guys ready to jump me that night if I had started anything until her friend had told them that I was in Jiu Jitsu. He didn't tell them what belt I was or how long I had been doing it, but apparently it was enough to scare the shit out of all four of them!! :lol: :lol: :lol:>

Post: ninja_claws:
wow, those stories are awsome, ive got aalotover 40 worth talkin about lol, but the one that deserves it the most was funny as hell
their was this dude in the folk, among others ive foughtwho wanted to make a name of himselfm and i was about to go in a play for my skewl as a ninja, and screw it up because i was just, idk, mischiviouse, and because of people knowing i did it, and the folk, ill call him ticki ticki, cause he looked like a damn zoo loobig muscles, no brains, pushed me, and grabbed himself and goes " nigga bust me" and being mystupid self, i went, " are u fuckin stupid, u think i bought this uniform from walmart, No!! im the real deal bitch" yea i used to have a bit of an ego i admitanywho, i think i took somn offence to that comment, so i got into my position, water, lol so i looked drunked, and hes like" wtf nigga, u kiddin man" and im like "bitch ur wasting my fuckin time"again he took offence, so he got in a false boxing position, u know, hittin with ur right first, and swingin no jabs, tried to hit me, and i grabbed that fists, flowed with it for a quick sec, then flipped his ass over, it was pretty wicked, then he got up, and the principle ws commin, so i wanted to make it fasted , so i parted my fingers and threw them into his throut holding him, the iwth a quick palm to his face knocking him back, then a kinda sloppy, i thought, backkick to the head, he stayed down, and i played like a ninja and dished and decided against screwen up the play, because a ninja cant dodge a bullit, so i wassnt gonna take any chances> [That is all]