February 26, 2008

Fitness Made Simple


What is it with this guy John Basedow? He has this business called Fitness Made Simple, I guess he's some kind of fitness guru. But look at this wiry bastard. If you're going to talk me into working out, this Basedow body cannot be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I would rather be an out-of-shape mush than have a Basedow body. He looks too sinewy, reminds me of a piece of beef jerky. What's with his head? It looks like it doesn't belong on his body. How did this person become successful? Don't tell me hard work. How old is he anyway? This bastard just rubs me wrong, it goes beyond simply hating his weird-looking body. I don't like his face. Or his hair. Or his attitude. But I really hate that goddamn theme song from the Fitness Made Simple commercials...
Here's John Basedow,
and he's gonna show you how
to reach your potential
and turn your whole life around!
It's Fitness Made Simple,
Made for real people.
It's Fitness Made Simple,
It's changing real lives.

3 comments:

  1. Laugh it up. This dude gets mad chicks.

    I'd like to see him with a shaved head to see if maybe his hair is just fluffy or if his head IS really too big for his body.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Big head. He'd do awesome in the movie business, right?

    ReplyDelete
  3. A lot of people have said mean things about this guy for a while. When that big tsunami came around everyone thought he had died. You could imagine that people stopped saying mean things, right? Nope. They got meaner, saying that they hoped he had died, and making jokes about how his funny looking body must have been fighting back against the waves.

    Luckily, he lived.

    You should all be ashamed of yourselves. All Basedow ever wanted to do was make us all a little healthier.

    And yes. This is the pot at the end of the rainbow.

    ReplyDelete